SUPER SORRY

Hello, everyone! I would like to apologize for not making a new post tonight. My daughter is not really feeling very well as she had her shots this week, and she is teething really bad. Again, I completely apologize. I will try and post ASAP (don't worry it won't be a large gap like last time). Thank you for understanding.






_BLAZE

SOOOOOO.... MY DAUGHTER STARTED WALKING BEFORE ME.

   Yeah... you read that right lol. My wonderful, beautiful, child of mine started walking before me. It's almost bitter sweet... ALMOST. Sweet, because HELL YEAH! YOU GO! THAT'S MY BABY! Then it's almost bitter, because DAMN, I WANT TO WALK TOO!!! LOL! Anyways, I am very happy for the love of my life to reach such an amazing milestone in her life. But now that she has reached this amazing milestone, she doesn't stop lol. FUN FOR HER, but not so fun for everyone else lol. As she is fast as hell, and doesn't care where she goes. I can't run after yet, because I am still in a wheelchair. I don't even try anymore, because I just won't make it. She is just too fast.
   First and foremost, I completely apologize for such a late update. The last time we talked I was in the healing process. Fantastic news! I have definitely healed up a lot, and I am getting a lot of progress with the help of physical therapy. It's nice to finally see some progress with my leg after all the bull shit I went through. My staples are out, the swelling has gone down quite a lot, and my ashy ass leg isn't ashy anymore LOL. IT'S FREAKING CLEAN!!! AND IT'S CLEAN ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!

   Since then, I have been SUPER BUSY! First, and foremost... my living situation has quickly changed. Since my husband's work schedule is hectic, I have to have either my mother in law come stay with me, or my father come stay with me to help me, and my baby. Before it was a little easier, because I didn't start school yet, and I was still receiving inpatient home physical therapy, so I didn't have to go anywhere. Also my daughter wasn't quite as mobile, so it was a little bit easier for everyone. 

   For a while this worked, but then my family needed my dad, and my husband's family needed my mother in law, and they had other stuff they needed to take care of, but I still needed help with me, and my daughter. So in order to make this work for everyone, I had to go back and forth between houses (and mine) to have someone take care of me and my daughter. At first it was a little hard, but I have managed to get use to it. We gotta do what we gotta do, and right now, we gotta do this. I have to remember though that this situation is only temporary and I need to make the best of it. And in the end, I am still getting a lot of help, and I am extremely thankful for that. 

   So after a bit of this sudden changed, I had another change happen... I started school! YES! ME! FINALLY! I STARTED SCHOOL! I was so excited to start school! I haven't been this excited since my daughter was born (even through that labor from hell). Now, even though I was still excited, I was also very nervous, because... I was still in my wheelchair, and I had no clue how I was going to do in school with it. 

   The first day of school was a hot mess express. First, I went to the wrong classroom. I went to my second class of the day instead of my first. When I told my husband about the mistake I had made, I told him he didn't have to take me to the first class I was originally suppose to go to, and that I should be able to make it to my original first class all by myself. He asked me if I was sure, and (like an idiot) I said, "Yes, don't worry about it, I got this...". He said, "Okay." He gave me a kiss on the lips, and he went back to the car to head back home. Little did I know...

FIRST I WAS LIKE

AND THEN I WAS LIKE

AND THEN I WAS LIKE

I AM NOT GOING TO FUCKING MAKE IT.

*Note: Now imagine all of this I was doing, but in a wheelchair.

   When I first started wheeling myself to my first, original class, there was no fucking way I was going to make it. It was so fucking exhausting wheeling myself around. I wasn't even half way, and I was already fifteen mother fucking minutes late. I was already running out of energy, it was fucking hot (YES, THERE IS A LOT OF FUCKING FUCK WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE IT WAS CRAZY!), and I wasn't even close to being near.

   Now you are probably thinking, "Well, BLAZE, why didn't you call your husband?" Well, because... of fucking course... his was broken at the time. YES. It was FUCKING broken. After paying $80 for a LIFE PROOF case, and the ONE time he DIDN'T use it, it FUCKING broke. So I had no choice... but to continue wheeling on.

Yes, I fell this gracefully

 

   LOL No, I didn't fall out or faint that gracefully at all, but I sure wasted another fifteen minutes, and I wasn't even close to my class. Since the first day is nothing but talking about the syllabus, I knew if I missed anymore time, I was going to be marked absent, loose my spot, and no longer be in the class.

   While all this bull shit was happening, as my husband began to drive back home, he saw where my first, original class was, and he was like, 

"NO!!! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!!!!" - Husband

   No... he was more like, "She's not going to make it", and he went back to go pick me up. After pushing myself for over thirty minutes, I ended up flagging down the campus police, and told them,

   "I need help". So the campus police took my wheelchair, helped me in their car, and took me to my first class. When we were driving in the police car at school, I was looking at the path I had to go on to get to my first class, and there was no way in HELL I was going to make it to that class if I kept on pushing myself. 

   When my husband went back to get me, he saw I was no longer there. At first, he said he was a little worried, but figured I probably got to class somehow, then he went home and messaged me online to make sure I was okay.

   So the police felt bad that I was super late, and decided to wheel me to my class. Let's just say, I made an exquisite entrance.  

EXPECTATION

REALITY

   It felt SOOOOO WEIRD having everyone starring at me, the teacher seemed surprised, but none the less continued on with the class. 

   Since it was the first day, and all we did was read the syllabus, we got out early. I called the campus police to take me to my second class, because after what I learned earlier, there is no FUCKING way I was going to make it to that class. THIS time I would have had time to make it, BUT was I able to physically? NO. So getting a ride this time around was such much easier, and extremely helpful. 

   The second class of the day was the same, it was just the professor reading the syllabus. And the next day my other classes were also the same, more and more syllabuses. Besides that crappy first day, the rest of the week was pretty easy. I got to know a lot of my classmates, and many people in my class and on campus helped me out a lot. It was a little hard getting back into the school schedule after so long, but after a while, I got use to it, and school has been pretty fun. Though waking up early is still kind of a bitch for me LOL you would think that since I have a baby I would be use to it. NOOOO LOL NOOOOOOO... I still wake up though, but I think it will be a LOOOONNNGGG time before waking up early will be an ease for me.

   Anyways, I know this is a short post, I will post more tomorrow about what has been happening since the last time we talked. Right now my hands are kind of hurting (Raynaud's flare ups), and I really don't want to push it. So tonight, I will say good night, and sweet dreams! But before I bid you a farewell, I wanted to share with you guys about this campaign that is going on...

   So GoFundMe is having a scholarship event going on, and is giving away $10,000 to ten people. In order to qualify for this scholarship, you need to set up a campaign with #GFMScholarship in the description box, and get at least 10 donations to be eligible for the chance to win the scholarship. I have set up a campaign, and I hope you guys can help me out and donate to my campaign. Any kind of donation is appreciated, and I am completely grateful, and thankful for it. So, if you are interested in my campaign, please click on my link below, I will also have it posted on the side of my blog to be accessible to you guys. 

CREATED TO CREATE. CLICK HERE TO DONATE.

    Thank you guys for taking your time to read about my campaign! I will be talking to you guys soon! Good night, and sweet dreams! Au revoir!

_BLAZE